Did you know feelings are infectious?
Feelings circulate like diseases. You can be affected by those you work with, your relations and friends. You can also affect them.
You pick up on the emotions of others – enthusiasm and joy as well as sadness, fear and anger.
You may have heard the saying that ‘you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’ but this is a saying from a motivational speaker and has proven to be untrue – it’s the influence of far more than 5 people.
Research has shown your happiness relates to your social network – your friends, their friends and their friends – three degrees. You might be amazed to realise that people that you have never met can have an effect on your emotions as feelings are spread. In fact, there is a similar influence for obesity and smoking – you are more likely to be obese or smoke depending on the habits of your friends and their friends and their friends.
If your friend of a friend of a friend is happy with their life you have a 6% greater chance of being happy yourself. To put that in perspective an increase in pay of around £10 000 increases happiness by about 2%.
Some research showed that each additional happy friend increases your probability of being happy by about 9%. Put that another way, if you are a happy friend you increase your friend’s potential to be happy by 9%. You also increase your friend of a friend of a friend’s chance of happiness by 6%. What a great influence you can have.
You can also be affected by negative emotions you can pick up sadness, depression, fatigue, low energy and stress. Negative people will discourage you from pursuing your dreams or warn you against learning a new skill. They can make you indifferent, anxious and distrustful. One sad friend doubles an individual’s chance of becoming unhappy. In particular, it is rumination that can be infectious – focussing on negative ideas and sadness and constant discussion of these aspects. Feelings of hopelessness and depression are not passed on. If you are that sad person you double your friend’s chances of being unhappy.
You need to be aware of this on two dimensions. What emotions do you emit towards others? What are you picking up from those surrounding you?